Gratitude
Like many people, I spent a lot of my life taking blessings (people, experiences, things) for granted. Without realizing it, through a lifetime of learning within a competitive, comparison-heavy, capitalist culture, I became more focused on what I did not have than what I did have. I cannot pinpoint when it happened, but, at some point in the last few years, I began actively practicing gratitude. My gratitude practice has changed my outlook on life: Rather than focusing on scarcity, I am focusing on abundance. I still suffer, of course, but I am now more content than I have ever been. (Please see my series of blog posts on gratitude for more about my gratitude practice and how behaviorists could incorporate gratitude into research and practice.)
What follows is an attempt to put into words the enormous amount of gratitude I feel for everyone whose path crossed mine, for however long. Of course, I cannot possibly list all of the people, experiences, and opportunities for which I am grateful, but this is a start.
Family
I am immensely grateful for my family. The past couple of years, I have been able to connect and reconnect with my father, mother, aunts, uncles, cousins, and their children. To say that these reconnections have been helpful is an understatement. Thank you, family, for sticking by me when I am at my worst, my best, and every version in between. Thank you for all of the opportunities to practice patience and reflect on generational learning. Thank you for teaching me that true wealth is being surrounded by people who offer us compassion, forgiveness, unconditional love, and unwavering support.
Friends
My friends are remarkable humans, and I do not know where I would be without them. Like my family, I am blessed to have so many people who willingly stand by every version of me, even when we lost touch, even when things got rough, even when they did not understand my actions. I left home at the age of 17 and, in the next 21 years, moved around the country (United States) several times. Across time and space, I lost touch with friends and accrued new ones, only to repeat the loss-and-renew cycle every time I moved. For a long time, that pattern saddened me; it is hard to grow close to people and then watch them slip away. Nowadays, I see it as a blessing; I learned that good friends can be made wherever you go. And, it turns out that what I thought was loss was simply an opportunity to grow independently for a time. I have spent the past couple of years prioritizing activities that bring me joy, including reconnecting with the souls who have shared in my laughter and tears over the years. During this time, I have learned that true friends never leave you. Those that stick around are proof that angels do walk among us. I am incredibly grateful to have a variety of friendships that have stood the test of time and circumstance. Collectively, friends, your support and unconditional love has kept me alive, and I mean that quite literally. I cannot thank you enough.
Colleagues, Mentors, and Professional Contacts
I am truly lucky to have worked with so many impressive people, from a variety of backgrounds, across the United States. You all do difficult but important work, and I am honored to know you. Thank you for teaching me, inspiring me, and providing outstanding models as I grew into my own as a behavior analyst. Thank you for continuing to support me, and thank you to those who recognize and share my dissemination efforts. You understand the power of our science, how it has been misinterpreted and misused, and that it has yet to reach its full potential. I thank you for everything you have and continue to do to "save the world with behavior analysis."
Students
Whenever I teach a course, I feel fairly certain that my students teach me more than I teach them. I have been lucky to teach high-quality undergraduate and graduate students in psychology and behavior analysis at several institutions. I am grateful to you, students, for all of your hard work and insightful contributions, and for always holding me to a high standard. I admire your commitments to improving the lives of others, and I am so lucky to have been a part of your academic and clinical journeys. I am so proud of everything you have and continue to accomplish.
Clients
My clients have included people with autism spectrum disorder, intellectual and developmental disabilities, their families, and companies that serve similar populations. You are the reason I fell in love with behavior analysis, and I cannot thank thank you enough for the impact you have had on me. I am incredibly honored to have had opportunities to help you and your loved ones improve your lives in so many different ways. I am grateful to have been a part of your journeys. I am inspired by everything you have and continue to overcome, and I can only hope that you benefitted as much as I did from our time together. I also hope that, one day, I can express my gratitude for your existence and our interactions more completely.
Readers
Thank you, dear readers, for allocating your precious time to listening to what I have to say. I hope that you find something of value in my words. I know that not everything I write will resonate with you, but I hope you find something that affects you. I hope that you begin to understand how the science and philosophy of behavior analysis is, at its core, compassionate, heartful, and humane. I know that it is easy to misunderstand our terminology, assumptions, approaches, and views, so I thank you for trying. Thank you for keeping an open mind. I hope you see that behavioral science has a lot to offer, including immensely powerful, practical tools for improving many facets of the human condition and a coherent, unifying philosophy that unites its science and practice. Thank you for listening, and please do not hesitate to reach out if you want me to point you to other behavioral resources or services.
Everyone
I made the categories above (family, friends, colleagues, etc.) as if I could separate my gratitude by the roles people played in my life, but it is impossible to make human connections so black-and-white. Some of my colleagues, mentors, students, and clients became my friends, and some of my friends have become like family. Regardless of the form of our relationship, I grateful for how our interactions have functioned in my life. Thank you, everyone, for everything.